…we’ve all done them.
What haven’t I done, is more the question. A brief, but important, look at my employment history:
- Ages 4-7, I sold lemonade and Kool-Aide to locals. My little table and ice chest were nicely decorated with puffy paint. I drew the signs myself.
- At 13, I worked in my dad’s store. Mainly I just bugged customers. Once in a while, I developed film. Ours was a mom-and-pop camera store. That was before the massive Walgreen’s takeover of Y2K.
- At 18, I made pizza. I got really good at tossing dough without having it land on my head. But, I gained weight. You look at all those ready-to-eat toppings all day and it does things to you!
- When I turned 20, I started working as a craft-store associate. I got to play with shiny things, use pneumatic tools, and throw boxes around for a living. It was cool. My whole person was covered in glitter for years on end. I kept this job, at least part time, for almost 5 years.
- 22 came around and I started working on a ship. Yeah, a ship. Not a boat. A ship. I lost a lot of weight. I never thought lines weighed that much. This is where I started to sing and entertain. It was fun while it lasted! The crew I worked with sucked overall, but it was one of those jobs that teaches you more about the real world than you thought it would. And, being on the water everyday was pretty kick-butt-awesome.
- Now, I work at a desk. My computer is all I see. I still freelance on the weekends, obviously. And, again, I do a lot at this desk. Graphics, calls, finances…
What about pirating? Well, honestly, it’s not as lucrative as it was back in the old days. There are taxes now, and people have this crazy idea that we only drink rum and have no morals. Some of my contemporaries do, but most of us are just as hardworking as the common folk. I just work to pay the bills. The pirating is what I do for fun. A nice cathartic exercise at the end of the week, just so I don’t go postal.
But, maybe if I went postal, I’d get better health insurance…