…today is “Bell-Bottomed Trousers”.
Well a-once there was a waitress in the Prince George Hotel,
Who’s mistress was a lady and who’s master was a swill.
They knew she was a simple girl, lately from the farm,
They did their very best just to keep her from a-harm.
Bell-bottomed trousers, coats of navy blue,
Let ’em climb the riggin’ like his daddy used to do!
And then there came a sailor, an ordinary bloke,
A-bulging at the trousers with a heart of solid oak.
As he without a woman for 7 years or more,
You didn’t need to ask what he was looking for.
He asked her for a candle just to light his way to bed,
He asked her for a pillow just to rest his weary head.
And speaking very softly as if he meant no harm,
He asked her just to come to bed for so to keep him warm.
He pulled aside the blanket, there a moment for did lie,
He was on her, he was in her, in a twinkling of an eye.
He was out again, and in again, and plowing up a storm,
And all the waitress said was “I hope you’re keeping warm!”
Early the next morning, the sailor he awoke,
Saying here’s a two-pound note for the damage I have wrote,
So if you have a daughter, bounce her on your knee,
And if you have a son, send that bastard out to sea!
So there she sits upon the dock, baby on her knee,
Waiting for the navy ships a-coming home from sea.
Waiting for those jolly tars in navy uniforms,
And all she wants to do me boys is keep the navy warm!